Tabula Rasa. Blank slate. It’s a term with which most of us are at least somewhat familiar, denoting a beginning. Well, here is my beginning.
I am now restarting this blog and making it public. When I first started writing it in summer of 2011, I felt that I was at a turning point in my life, on the verge of a new adulthood. This statement was more accurate than I knew, although I was unaware that I was starting a journey that would cause me to change far more than simply a graduation from university and embarking on a full-time “adult” job.
Until late 2010, I believed in Traditional Roman Catholicism wholeheartedly, without reservation, trusting that the explanations I had heard all my life, those I had discovered on my own or been spoon-fed, were valid arguments for the Truth of the Faith. I believed in six-day creationism and believed that true science disproved evolution.
Eventually, I learned new arguments, found new evidence. I now accept that the science does point towards evolution as the best theory we have. I believe in evolution as much as I believe in gravity; “believe” is clearly the wrong word. So far as science goes, I will accept whatever the evidence suggests or, if I lack the time or care to do the research on my own, whatever the most reliable source says the evidence suggests.
So far as those things outside the realm of science go, I barely believe anything. I can no longer believe that the existence of the supernatural or paranormal is more than the slimmest possibility, because I have yet to see any true evidence of either.
My original purpose when I first conceived this project and began work on it, long before it became this blog, was to prove Catholicism. Although I admit that I still feel a certain emotional draw to that faith, I now see it as mere nostalgia. Every member of my immediate family, my parents, my siblings, my siblings’ spouses and children, all hold fast in the faith I have shed.
This project is now a journal of exploration, a place to record my journey so far and my efforts to learn ever more and more. I have done much study, and in studying found evidence, and in evidence found conclusions. The most important starting question, in my own mind, is this: “Is there a god?” While I am always open to new arguments, every argument I have found thus far has failed. Therefore, I must conclude that no god exists. However, this is just a beginning! What should I do about there being no god? How should I live? What color should I paint my kitchen? The journey is, in many ways, only beginning.
While some posts will be simply biographical, describing my life thus far and how I came to my conclusions, others will respond to specific arguments I have encountered. The most common entries will be titled with a question, big or little, and will summarize the evidence and my own conclusion. I am also planning a segment called “Rebecca Reads”, wherein I will share my reactions to certain books, although I have not yet decided whether I will post all of those here or start a new blog specifically for that purpose.
I invite you to journey with me, to agree or disagree, to point out flaws in my logic, to suggest new questions to explore or books to read. If you suggest a question, book, or argument already on my list, I will try to bump it up in importance. Unfortunately, I may never get to your suggestion; I may run out of time or I may not find it very significant.
This is my own journey, an attempt to deal with my own struggles. If it helps even one other person, that is wonderful, and it is with that hope that I put it online instead of hiding it.