One of the things I hate about being a woman is having periods. All the usual reasons (pain, having to deal with bleeding heavily from my genitals for a week, extra tiredness) certainly apply. Personally, however, I have a reason I don’t think is shared by everyone.
Once a month, every month, my body is drained of will by my personal “how dare you not have made a baby this month” hormone mix. I lose all motivation to do anything, even necessary things like clean the hamster cage or things I enjoy like write. I typically at least play with the idea of suicide, although now those thoughts are much less welcome and much easier to dismiss than they were back when I was Catholic (topic for another time, perhaps).
I’ve been dealing with that over the last week in particular, and that is largely why I haven’t been posting. There’s another reason, though: I’m completely stressed out about work. It’s been another unreasonably busy week, and those are more common than not. When they happen, I can’t spare the brain power to write good content.
However, I need my programming job to stay alive. I need my programming job to pay rent. I need my programming job to take care of my boyfriend, who currently is more in need of my insurance than I am. I need my programing job to take care of our pets. I need my programming job to meet any of my financial goals.
Further, I have now too many pets to care for properly while maintaining a blog. My robo hamsters made babies (whoops…) and I need time to tame them so I can sex them properly and prevent that happening again.
Because of all these factors, I’ve decided to more or less let go of this blog for now and concentrate on my programing career and little furry family. I’m still reading books for the Rebecca Reads series (three of them currently!). I still have several posts in mind to write if I find time in between other things. If you want to keep up with what will now be completely sporadic posting, and you haven’t already, please subscribe to the rss feed or the email list (links in the sidebar).
I don’t know whether anyone will be disappointed because I know I have a small readership and haven’t posted much with actual content lately. For anyone who is, though, can you really blame me for wanting more time to spend with these babies and their little old man faces?
And a second litter was just born yesterday! (That’s how these hamsters (and gerbils) work: they can become pregnant again the day they give birth, which is why I separated Daddy out a week ago.) I got to see one of the pinkies as I was separating the older litter into their own cage:
Don’t worry, Momma got him and brought him back to the nest.