Some colleges face much theft and crime,
Some have nothing worse than grime,
But my alma mater has the worst of all
Terror hiding in trees so tall:
Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl,
The Homicidal Squirrel.
Football was great until he came;
Our team won game after game!
Making all proud of the orange and blue
Til our quarterback fell victim to
Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl,
The Homicidal Squirrel.
Our art department was the talk of the town
With funding that never seemed to go down
But then they found the department head
Still and lifeless, having been killed dead
By Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl,
The Homicidal Squirrel.
We made great strides of research in science
But should have formed an alliance
Grad students walk home late and night
And one by one, to the murderous delight
Of Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl,
The Homicidal Squirrel.
I was just lucky to graduate alive!
My freshman roommate did not survive.
Avoid the place, pride down the hatch;
Nobody anywhere is half of a match
For Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl,
The Homicidal Squirrel.
This was fun to write. I’ve no idea where the idea came from, but I found a note in an old journal that just said “Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl, the Homicidal Squirrel” and rolled with it.
The shortness of today’s post gives you more time to digest my last post, which was mostly about whether evil can be used as evidence against the existence of Yahweh.
The Complete History of the Universe: A Personal Journey 