Dating a Christian Isn’t Necessarily a Bad Idea: Reddit Stories Part 1

In continuation of my mixed yokes series, which started with my own story, here are some of the replies I received when I asked for stories on reddit’s TrueAtheism sub.


 

my ex is catholic. im an atheist. we dated for 5 years. our breakup had nothing to do with the clash of religious beliefs. there are a plethora of issues that can cause a breakup. religion is only one.

trevlacessej


 

Two instances.

My first real relationship was with a Christian girl (extremist, if you will). Things went okay until about half way through. At that point she wanted me to start going to church (this was the point where I realized she was in a cult like church) and I didn’t really want too because why would I? She got upset over that so reluctantly I went every now and again. She insisted it was just to spend time with me but slowly it turned into me going to practically every church related event. We got into several fights over Religion or lack of, a lot of hurt feelings etc. She eventually broke up with me because “God doesn’t honor this type of relationship”. Actually a relief that she ended it and not me. Looking back on it, it was a pretty caustic relationship on both ends; just a general incompatibility to put it lightly.

Second relationship (the one I’m currently in) is wonderful. She is a Christian and is very understanding of my position and I of hers. We enjoy each others company and don’t care about each others stances on religion. We don’t ever fight over it because we are too focused on each other to care. It will be a year that we have been dating on the 30th this month. We will see how everything turns out in the days to come! In the end, it all comes down to compatibility with each other. Religion isn’t solely the determining factor of compatibility.

Unspoken_Myth


 

I dated a guy who flat out refused to even tell me what religion he classed himself as. He knew I was an atheist so perhaps he was worried I would hassle him about it (although I never would.) Looking back I kind of respect his decision to not even discuss it with anyone because religion isn’t everything if you don’t let it be and if he was religious it must have been very personal to him. Which is a good way to be I feel.

FinnSke


 

When I was a Christian, I was dating an agnostic chick. Unfortunately I really ruined it by being extremely pushy about my beliefs. I always asked her to come to church with me, and she came just because she wanted to please me I guess. We used to have heated debates about religion all the time. I really wish I could go back and slap past-me. We eventually broke up because I was being such a dick about it.

Now that I’m atheist, I’ve become far more open minded and the things someone believes in don’t bother me in the least. Since then, I’ve dated a few christian chicks, but they have been pretty cool about it. I guess it all depends on how deep you are in the religion that makes people so closed-minded.

ScaleneZA


 

Well, put me down for 13 years, 10 happily married, 3 kids.

UncleJesticle


 

I am about to marry (in a month) a lovely Christian woman- I myself am a recently proclaimed atheist.

The thing is, when we met three years ago, I was going to school for biblical theology. It was around that time that my spiritual life came crashing down around me, and my doubt process slowly transformed into my “deconversion”‘. She and I had many conversations about this process of mine, and we still do. We love each other very much, and we strive to be accepting of each other’s beliefs.

Darth_Remus


 

I dated a new earth creationist for 2.5 years. He didn’t really discuss his beliefs at all during the first year of our relationship, though I assumed he was a moderate Christian based on other observations. Once I learned I did my best to try to be supportive, as by that time I was already very invested in the relationship. I cared about him, and wanted good things for him.

Eventually things started coming to head and he began treating me with such disrespect. He was ashamed of himself that he had allowed himself to become “tempted” by me, and he took his disgust out on me. When we eventually split up he told me that he loved me more than he could have possibly imagined, but that it was a sin to be with me. He told me that all he wanted was for me to be saved and that I would have a better chance of that happening if I wasn’t around him. His faith drove him to unimaginable shame and depression over things he had done, and his fear that I was going to hell made him almost unable to be around me. He was not the same man I once knew by the time we split and I am furious at the harm that religion has done to this person, who could have been so great and has instead been reduced to a one-dimensional character, too terrified of the boogyman to actually live his life.

IlludiumQXXXVI


 

I’m white, she was black. We got along great, had the same interests and had a ton of fun together.

In the end, we knew my Fox News-watching conservative family would never accept her for being black, and her ultra-religious family would not accept me for being atheist.

We’ve remained friends, however, although now geographically separated.

Edited to add another example: Another girl I dated for about 5 minutes was Mormon, and her family loved me because I reminded them of an atheist grandfather in the family.

She had health problems that she inherited from her father, which get worse with each generation. I told her I assumed that meant she would not be having kids (and I’m child-free, so that was important to me).

In the end, not only did she insist I would have to convert for her (funny how it never goes the other way), but she wanted kids.

She is now married with 2 kids, both of which have HORRENDOUS health problems. I find that cruel to bring kids into the world that you know will be sick, and even likely die young. In the end, her religion made her irresponsible, and I dodged a bullet.

ackthbbft


 

I’ve never dated a straight up atheist. Never. There just aren’t many atheist women out there. The closest I have come is non practicing Jewish I guess. My current lady isn’t religious, but she still thinks there is an afterlife/reincarnation and some sort of divine plan. It isn’t ideal, but it doesn’t come up very often.

Clyken


 

I’m atheist, I started dating a Catholic girl. About 2 or 3 months in to our relationship I decided to sit down and talk about the elephant in the room. I told her exactly what I believe, why I believe it, how I came to believe it. And she told me her side. At first she was a little bit worried and hesitant, I guess she had never really thought about dating an atheist before.

Over time, she realized I’m a good person, and that’s all that maters. That my philosophical reasons for not believing in God are respectable, and they make me who I am and she would never want me to change my beliefs. I realized that she is an amazing, good person, and she truly uses her religion as a means of bettering herself and being a good and loving person to everyone around her, and I hope her beliefs never change, because she’s perfect how she is.

We got to a point where we would talk about our religion openly and naturally. She would come up to me and tell me what they talked about in church and what she liked and didn’t like about the sermon. I would talk to her about interesting articles or books I read about atheism. We also talked about if we ever had kids how we would raise them (we would teach them both ways, not make either one a taboo, and let them decide when they are old enough to choose for themselves), and we both agreed that we wouldn’t have it any other way. This has all worked because we both approached this difference in belief with an open mind and we were respectful of each other, neither of us ever having a “I’m right and you’re wrong” type of mentality.

We’ve been dating around 5 years and we’re getting married next month! And we couldn’t be happier.

Pandajuice22


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